Tonight was the 'big' game between the USA and England in the tepid mundanity known as football. I had originally wished to completely avoid the offence to one's eyeballs, but, as these things often go, I didn't have much of a choice. Well, a choice between sitting in alone and being out in public with friends. So I chose to go to a bar, what with its more numerous options to not watch the game than a friends 'football party' (such an oxymoron with the brain numbing turdness of the so called game). So, I sat there, watching the vacuous morons, mouths open, aghast at the spectacle that was being displayed to them (a group of equally vacuous morons kicking a small ball around a field), feeling mostly bored and irritated.
When, it struck me that it was a prefect opportunity to perform a scientific experiment. Would my hatred of the shower of shit being shown lessen in proportion to the amount of vodka I consumed. A kind of beer-goggles for TV. Fortunately the bar had some decent Russian vodka and after two rather strong concoctions I was rather tipsy. So, in my inebriated state, I really tried. I mean, I put some serious effort into watching the last 10 minutes of the game. Like, seriously, it was hard work.
The end result, I hear you screaming to know, well, with one's brain numbed on alcohol, I didn't hate it as much. It wasn't the usual screaming inside the walls of my own skull, trying to escape from it. But, I also found it as dull as fuck. It was like sat watching a lit firework, waiting for it to pop and explode in exiting glory. And it just fizzling out and not doing anything of the remotest interest. I could of been staring at the wall and it would of been as fun.
In conclusion. Alcohol numbs the experience of football. But in the same sense that alcohol numbs root canal surgery. In the end, its still a big ol' wank pie.
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