So, let me start at the beginning, with the flight from hell.
The Traveling
It was with a somewhat heavy and excited heart that I left Berlin, I do have a habit of missing the place before I've even left. But, the first of the two flights did give me this nice overview of the city to be all sentimental about. The view inside the plane was a little less exciting.
But, it wasn't long until we were over England. See if you can guess how I recognised this fact.
Yep, you guessed it, clouds. Big old blanket of clouds as far as the eye can see. Ahh, ok, so I did miss England just a little.
But, this little 2 hour first flight wasn't too bad all in all. It was quick. Easy, and I landed in a place which had lots of chocolate I'd not eaten for a while, people were speaking a language that I'm good at, signs were readable etc. But, the main bad point was this.
See if you can figure out what was wrong with my 'Gluten Free' snack.
Homeland Security
I had a little fun in London though. After arriving and transferring to the correct terminal (on a crappy bus) I walked upto the Virgin Atlantic desk to check in for my connecting flight. Simple enough one would think. The doddering old bald codger who was security checking people didn't give me much hassle and put a little sticker on my passport (which is impossible to remove), but when I got to the counter the little imbecile behind the counter had a confused look on his face. Something had come up on the computer that his brain couldn't comprehend. So I had to stand there while he called over someone else (ie. person with brain), who then walked off, transfered me to another counter and made me stand around for 5 minutes. Not the end of the world you would think, infact, that was what I was thinking at that point. That is until I heard two people whispering behind me, casting concerned glances in my direction and uttering the words "Homeland Security". It was at this point that I became a little perturbed. Just what could Homeland Security want with a fella like me? What had I done to warrant such attention? I was pretty sure I hadn't packed any explosives or burned any American flags chanting death to the west recently. Was it because I was living in the former DDR and therefore was a Red Commie in Americas eyes?
Well, I didn't find out straight away, I was instructed to go and sit down on some green leather seats and be patient. The guy behind the counter said he had to "contact a colleague about something" in the most unconvincing way ever, he might aswell of just said "we think you're a terrorist, so we've just got to ring up America to see what size of pineapple to shove up your arse and torture you with".
Ok, so, I may be exaggerating just a little. But I was pondering whether some burley guys were on their way to cart me off to a small room with a two way mirror and pull a good gorilla bad gorilla act on me. What did happen though is I sat there for 10 minutes and the guy came over and said everything was sorted. Apparently I'd put DE as my starting location (as thats where I started from), but I should of realised that I had to put the UK because thats where my connecting flight was. Meh. It was so mundane I kinda wished I'd been mistaken for a terrorist. It would of been a bit more exciting at least.
Hell Flight
After this, I was free to drink some crappy coffee, buy some lovely chocolate and then get on my 8 hour flight to JFK. All seemed well at first, I had a nice window seat for a nice view of the flight. Some random guy sat next to me, seemed ok enough, he said "hello" in a vaguely friendly manner. All good. The first confusing moment of the flight was this.
Now, just look at that. You would think "holy fuck, we're above the Sahara desert" or some such thing wouldn't you? Well, why then, did the map on the plane tell me that we were currently above the middle of Wales. Where in Wales looks like that I ask you!
The Twat
It was shortly after this photo that the nice friendly man next to me had morphed into the antichrist. In no time atall he decided that the arm rest was his and started off a 6 hour wrestle of control for it (which I say I won, but then I can as I'm writing this and can be as revisionist about history as I like). He also decided at that point that farting noxious chemicals into the air every 20 minutes was a perfectly acceptable thing to do in a sealed metal tube at 35000 feet. And then decided, that whilst watching the rather crap selection of films, he should laugh like a complete twat. Imagine sitting next to someone who doesn't laugh for 10 minutes and then lets it all out in one giant violent HAAA!! Waits another 10 minutes and then repeats. To say that this guy was annoying is somewhat of an understatement.
But, I did watch Toy Story 3 that was kinda good, so it wasn't all bad.
NY Arrival & The Hostel
It took some time to get out of the airport, find the right exit, find the airtrain and then get on the connecting metro stop for the A Line. Now, in my slightly tired brain toxified state, it seemed like a good idea to take the A line, it went straight to my hostel from the airport. Not realising that it was infact the longest train line in existence.
So, an hour and a half after getting my bags, I was at the hostel. Checked in, walked up to my room and discovered it was infact a prison.
Seriously, who thought the gun metal grey and dark dowdy corridor look was good?
But, the bed was comfortable enough and after a brief walk outside I fell sound asleep having excited dreams about all the adventures I was going to have in New York.
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