I awoke after a moderately restful sleep (as much as one can have in a hostel with other people wrecking balling their way in and out of the room at all hours). Sat up in my cramped bunk bed and thought to myself "I want to see the city, I've not seen it in the daylight so far. I know, I'll look out of the window which is right next to my bed!! What wonder!". This is what greeted me.
The pigeons hung around for my entire stay, they seemed to like it there. I had a different opinion.
So in a fog of jet lag i quickly escaped the hostel and made my way down to one of my researched places, a juice bar hidden in the back of a organic supermarket. The height of yuppie-ness you may think, what I actually found was this.
Now, yes, it may not look like the most appealing place in the world, and yes it looks like someone has taken to liberally sprinkling the floor with urine and that there are some new lifeforms growing on the till keyboard. But, one is traveling, opening the doors to new experiences, I'd never had botulism before, so what the hell. The crazy and friendly guy behind the counter recommended a purple concoction, mostly consisting of pineapple, banana, blueberrys and apple. They did have a fancy name for it, "Jizzy Delight" or some such ridiculous name probably, I can't remember. But after a few minutes of him franticly working away, i was presented with a plastic cup full of purple goop (if you've seen ghostbusters 2, you'll know what i mean). I was then instructed to "Drink it up big man! I got plenty more where this bad boy came from!". It seems he makes a large batch, watches you gulp down two thirds of it and then refills up to the top and sends you on your way.
All of this would of been a terrible ordeal but for the fact that it is the most delicious amazing smoothie I've ever had in my entire life. Yum indeed.
After this I went to get my first coffee of the trip, the jet lag gremlins were bouncing around in my brain and I needed waking up. Joe's - The Art of Coffee, surfaced, even if they do have a rather pompous name (and equally goatee'd bobble hat wearing twat employees).
The coffee itself was somewhere from ok to good. Infact, as I'm going to be mentioning many many coffees, I'll invent a NYCS (New York Coffee Scale), this one rated at a 4.5 out of 10, good, but not amazing. (for your easy reference, a Starbucks americano rates as a 1). Yes, I'm a coffee snob, deal with it.
It was after the first few sips, settling into my surroundings that I realised that I was a little too settled. As in, all I could hear was German ("just like home!" my brain was thinking). Turns out, after some digging in German, that the family that were sat next to me were from Berlin and on holiday in New York. This was my first non shop/hostel worker conversation in the trip, and it was with Germans, in German. I was quite happy with this fact though.
After this I decided to go for a little sight seeing and wandered down to the 'Friends' building. Well, at least the one they used for the exterior shots, I'm sure its a shithole on the inside.
This took all of 1 minute. Stand, look at building, take a picture, realise its just a building and move on. Least the area around there was nice. I do have a certain fetish for tree lined streets though.
A little more walking and I found this.
And then. The best and worst thing happened. I walked past a puppy store. With actual live puppies in the window. I stopped briefly and played with them in the window (I couldn't stop for more than a minute, else I'd of bought them all). Walking away, this is what I saw.
Oh My Fucking God, how could I leave this little cute fella. I now realise that people who own puppy shops are sadistic evil bastards, put on this earth to torture dog lovers. Arseholes.
Foody Disappointments
By this time, the jet lag gremlins were rattling around my brain and tapping on my eyeballs, food was needed. Fortunately I'd spent a lot of time researching some really good Gluten Free restaurants in the city in which to have Gluten Free pizza. I literally couldn't wait. So off I went to Keste on Bleecker street. "Gluten Free Pizza is only served on Monday and Tuesday", it was a Thursday, THE BASTARDS! But, all was ok, Risotteria was just across the street, and that was a full blown Gluten Free restaurant!!! Amazing you'd think. I walked upto the door and was greeted with this.
Unbelievable fuckers. I stormed off in a huff, but fortunately found this place.
Sat down and rather grumpily ordered scrambled eggs and bacon. Just that. Nothing else was written on the menu, just "You're choice of two eggs with bacon". Nice and simple, a little boring, but it will satiate my growling belly and shut up the gremlins at least. This is what was laid infront of me.
Now, don't get me wrong, adding fries and salad were a welcome addition. But, as a first American meal, it was somewhat fitting that they'd "added fries to that" without even so much as asking. It was indeed "fucking tasty".
Sat there, again, I realised I was feeling rather comfortable. It was again that I realised people were speaking German. Two women, gabbing away on the table next to me. I got chatting to them in my stilted German, meaning that so far, my New York trip was more of a German one. The universe was trying to tell me something. It was at this point that the guy from Short Circuit rode past on his bike. Twice. I didn't ask him if Jonny 5 was still alive.
I didn't get a photo of him, but, ya know, this is what he looks like.
Some more sight seeing was then done.
On the list of my favourite buildings.
They're very stern there.
You remind me today of a small mexican chihuahua.
Actual steam, coming from an actual NY grate!
(I'm a tourist, I am allowed to do this)
And then some tea was needed, this time in the V Bar & Cafe. One of my more favoured spots in NY.
Mostly as it was a nice relaxed place and their bookshelf consisted of this.
Classy.
The rest of the afternoon was spent wandering around the East Village until I found myself at a certain bakery, what is now perhaps my favourite place in the whole of the galaxy. Tu-Lu's Gluten Free Bakery.
I had intended to take a picture of the cookie and brownie that I bought. But unfortunately I ate them both in a total of 4.7 seconds, so did not quite have the time to get my camera out.
The afternoon ended with a little visit to the hostel I was supposed to be staying in originally. I kind of wondered why they shut it down, was it due to bed bugs? A chemical spill? Explosion? No, infact it was due to perilous conditions.
Well. I'm glad I didn't stay there (plus it looked like a turd hole).
British Evening
The evening started at Tea & Sympathy, where I ate cottage pie and drank Dandelion and Burdock. Again, there appear to be a lack of photos due to the extreme yumminess of the food. Afterwards I went to see Simon Amstel who was performing 10 minutes down the road.
I proceeded to laugh my balls off for 2 hours and left feeling rather tired but very happy. Then I was taken to a rather interesting Irish bar (with the Pink Pussy Cat next door one side and something to do with Birth on the other).
Where I was served two rather strong drinks (and was refused to have vodka and apple juice, as apparently, its impossible to drink such a thing in America).
By this time, the jet lag gremlins had gotten pissed off with me ignoring them and made me start to hallucinate slightly (nothing to do with the vodka atall), in that, "hmm, am I a zombie?", way. So I spent the journey home looking at one of the two following views, wondering where everyone else had gone.
All in all a fun packed day. I can't quite remember getting into my bed at the end of the night, needless to say, I slept rather well.
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