It Begins

What I'm talking about is this.

For those of you that don't know what the word Feuerwerk means, you're a moron, just look at the pictures and think of what it sounds like.  Now, for those of you that are wondering why I'm dedicating an entire post to such a thing, let me educate you.

You see, I have experience of fireworks in 3 separate countries.  America, where they have a giant shitfit of fireworks ballsing into the sky for July 4th.  Its all very organised and controlled by official officials as America mostly is.  Making it limited to a small number of areas, but the result being that those areas seem to contain an inordinate amount of explosives.  ie. big and fooking loud, as America has been known to be.

In the UK, where our giant firework spew is on November 5th, Bonfire night, where we also tend to burn giant effigies of a guy that died hundreds of years ago, which has the effect of making the night quite macabre (picture standing around a giant bonfire, eating sweets with one hand, holding a sparkler in the other, going 'ooo' and 'ahhh' at fireworks exploding over head and at the same time as all this joy and frivolity the representation of a man being burned to death plays itself out slowly off to the side).  As its the UK, things get a little more violent and dangerous, people tend to have their own fireworks which they let off in their gardens and occasionally fuck up and/or purposely fire into the streets.

Now, this may sound a little scary, but in the UK its not really.  You are in little danger of being shot at or hit by fireworks (unless you have a friend who doesn't get that rockets need to go in a tube and not straight into the ground, thus making them explode in said garden).  A little bit more edgy, but all well and good.

Then we get to Germany, and more specifically Berlin.  I don't know what happens to the German psyche for New Year, or what events have happened in the past to generate this social tumour, but basically, a lot of people here go homicidally insane for New Year and start firing fireworks at each other in the street.  Literally.  I'm not exaggerating.  Now, I'm thinking (and hence bringing up the other two countries first) that there isn't really another time for fireworks here, all that pent up rocket firing and exploding joy.  Its like the city has gone without for a year and goes freaking mental jizzing fireworks everywhere without any regard to basic safety.

So, tomorrow night, all over the streets there will be fireworks going off in the streets.  Last year whilst riding on the tram they were being fired at the tram, exploding on the windows.  Walking anywhere is a nightmare of constantly looking for things landing near you and dodging flying rockets.

I don't understand it, and its not fun, but its ok really.  Its just Berlin.

Thoughts on a Berliner Wintertime

I find myself rather enjoying all the snow again this year (at least for the time being, if it sticks around for 3 months I'll change my mind) and after the acquisition of a 1tb USB3 external hard drive (ie. big enough to contain everything I have ever done in my digital life), have been spending lots more time traipsing around to cafes with a laptop in tow.  I know this may sound slightly obvious, but theres something to sitting in a cafe surrounded by strangers, all babbling to each other, that makes working away on a computer a little more palatable.  Its not exactly more social (I'm not exactly babbling back at them) but has the feeling that there are infact other humans in the world.  Something that can easily be forgotten when working from home often.

*Nerdness*

The best part of all this though, is the hard drive itself, it leaves me thinking, why didn't they invent USB 3 years ago?  Why have we had to put up with USB 2's interminable speed (if such a word can be used).  I now have an external hard drive that is every bit as fast as one's internal ones, meaning syncing with the laptop is now a delightful breeze.  Bliss and Portability abound.

*/Nerdness*

I was today working from this place (they have lewd drawings on the ceiling)

drinking this (noms)

when, looking out of the window, I saw this

Yes, someone actually removing the 2 inches of ice from the pavement.  Bravo!! I thought.  Then I realised he was just clearing the pavement next to the tram stop.  Wankola!  But I have seen some paths cleared in the snow at various points around the area, so there is hope.  Just maybe, maybe, they've got their arse in gear this time, purchased a few of these rather simple looking machines and are actually not going to just pour useless gravel onto the ice rink of a city.

Just to the right of this, there is a building under renovation.  A little trick that the builders/owners do to make a little more money is to rent out the space on the front of all the scaffolding, therefore irritating people greatly, especially the ones that have to live across the road.  Now, the actual content of it doesn't bother me in the slightest, as I'd prefer to be outside of the advert than in it (beaches suck ass), but this must be really cruel to those desiring a sunkissed life :

Poor people.  Evil ad agencies.

I've also noticed that people have a real tendency here to just stick random art based crap everywhere

Its awesome.

Why is this dog sat there?

Silly dog, you're not a car!

Elsewise today, I bought a Christmas Tree (proper tree, not one of those plastic efforts) and various bits of christmas tat.

Top Ass

I went for a little wander around the Kollwitzplatz "Eco" Christmas Market yesterday.  For the most part it was pretty wank (unless you want to look like a giant knitted hippy), and I'm not too sure what was so Eco about it, the tat was the usual tat.

But, I did spy these in one of the "Eco" stores

Now, yes, I know, ha ha, they say Top Ass and in (albeit Americanised) English that is funny (well, yes, it really is).  But why are these type of cards so obsessed with peoples posteriors? In England they are called :

Now, for those not of English learnings, to "Trump" is to pass wind from the rectum.

Just makes ya think don't it?

Square Red Boxes

What are these and why are they all over the city?  I do get the overwhelming urge to stand in the middle of one whenever I see it, but to no avail.  Its not a better view of anything.  I can't hear anything more.  I'm not transported off to an alien spaceship.  Just bupkis.

Someone has gone to a bit of trouble to walk around putting them down (I think I've seen about 10 or 20 of them so far in most sectors of the city).  But WHY?

Though, the sky did turd a huge heap o snow last night so theres not much point worrying about it until they re-appear in 4 months along with a gazillion preserved dog land mines.