Tuesday 22 February 2011
Sunday 13 February 2011
Back to the UK : Part 2 - Warrington-ness
Giant Dirty Buttplugs
Warrington
Whilst a dislike of Warrington was never a part of why I moved to Berlin, I did become a little less fond of the place after my recent visit. Its not that its a particularly bad place (apart from the humongous Chav population and weekly stabbings/glassings in the town centre), but I came to realise that I've started taking everything in Berlin for granted. The idea that I can get to pretty much everything I want within 10 minutes walk/tram seems normal and this simple thing is not possible there.
But, Warrington isn't without its highlights. For instance, look at the picture at the top of the blog, someone actually thought that they would be a good idea!
The main high street is as dead as it looks here.
But, in the shopping mall, they do now have some nice (cheapo) German shops.
But, I was not in Town to see the sights. The plan was to meet up with a friend for a coffee. So, off I went to Starbucks and was greeted by this.
Now, I think this picture sums up Warrington quite well. OLD people. (plus, look at the guy on the far right, they are the only people that should wear a flat cap, old grey haired men. This is why I will never buy one until I am at such an age.)
A little further down the main high street is this memorial fountain for the bombing in '93. Look at it, why would anyone walk down here and think, yes, this is obviously a hive of activity, I'll bomb that.
The town centre is where most people go out to drink, so of a Friday night there are a gazillion people mulling around, bumping in to each other looking to start a fight, in such lovely establishments as these
If only the sign was meant for everything.
A 90's bar. Indeed.
Shopping
After the brief reminiscence in the town centre, I had a chance to visit the Trafford Centre. A colossal cheese turd of a place (which is quite good for shopping in). Just look at it.
Only after having quite a break to I find myself now asking, "Why did they design the food court area to look like a ship?". It must of all seemed natural when I first went, now it just seems a bit mental. (plus, I believe the 'gourmet burger kitchen' is anything but such a thing).
But, the place is full of a ridiculous number of shops. And, get this, more than 2 or 3 of them contain clothes for adult males!!! OMFG!!! As in, I could, if I wanted, not look like a chav! I got slightly overwhelmed with the choice and bought lots. (if you can't read inbetween the lines, what I'm saying is that Berlin shops are a giant sexist conspiracy theory, clothes for women and stripy topped youths only!)
But, then, upon walking out, I had this cheese slapped in my face.
That is "The Great Hall". Full of painted concrete and the set piece from close encounters of the third kind.
In conclusion, as Part 1, there wasn't as much choice as I remember there being. It was better in a few ways, but not the place of all that my rose tinted glasses remembered.
Saturday 5 February 2011
Back to the UK : Part 1 - Food
A little Background
As a few of you may know, I was recently visiting the UK for the first time in 18 months, back to the town where I grew up and lived the vast majority of my life (I have an aversion to referring to it as home now as it no longer is). The reason for this was not the greatest in the world in that my Dad died a couple of weeks back, so I was there for the funeral and to see family and such. As this has never been a blog about such personal things, I'll leave that there.
Englandish Foods
So, the only upside to this turn of events was that I got to go back to England and do two things. One, to buy all the glorious amazing English food that one cannot buy in Berlin. And Two, to reflect on how good/bad England is and how much better/worse things are when compared to Berlin.
One of the first places I visited is the cathedral like expanse of the giant Tesco 'extra' (no, its fine, just make the font of the e bigger, don't capitalise it, that would be silly)
All in all, a bit of a disapointment, rose tinted glasses and all that jazz. But, that is not to say there weren't things that were better. The drugs section is ridiculous when compaired to a pharmacy here. Let me give you a little comparison :
Paracetamol
UK = €0.22
DE = €2.90
Ibuprofen
UK = €0.24
DE = €4.50
How is it that drugs in Germany are allowed to cost so much when they can obviously be produced for much less? Is it price fixing or do the pharmaceutical companies have to jump through 10 or 20 extra hoops and pay extra taxes? Either way, one needs to give ol' Aunty Merkel a little slap round the chops. (plus, this isn't even mentioning the Tesco's own Claritin for €0.80, here €5 upwards).
The gluten free section did have a couple of things that you can't get here (read, naan bread and lovely cake), but there were equally less of a selection of pre-made bread. The drinks section was pretty much the same, except for the fact that you can buy decent Polish vodka in the UK. Even the international foods section wasn't quite as good as I remember it being, apart from a few extra Indian ingredients (which you can get here if you look hard enough), it was about the same.
But, perhaps I am missing the point. All of these things WERE available under one roof. In the UK I could go to one place and get pretty much everything I wanted (even if it was a 15 minute drive away). Here, I have to go to a couple of extra places. But on the flip side, there are no really huge supermarkets nearby and smaller shops thrive, meaning you can get all those little obscure things that a place like Tesco would never stock. Now, sure there are things in the UK that I can't buy here. But, the reverse is true, and the number of these things that I can't get here is far less than it seems like it is.
In the end, I think its a state of mind. Yes, I could be pissed off that I can't get some british wibbles or wobbles here. But thats like getting pissed off because I can't get decent american hash browns here, I don't live in America. I don't live in the UK anymore, of course there are a few things missing, but its a choice whether to pine for what you can't have or embrace what you can have.
Chips and Curry
Saying all that (and somewhat having ranted away with one's self and blown a giant gripe load), there are things outside of the world of Tesco. For instance :
Ahh, something I truly miss, and perhaps its better that I do, Chips and Mushy Peas. If I moved back the UK now, I'd be as wide as tall in the space of a few months (possibly). I know, I could buy a deep fat fryer, potatoes and such here, but, well, it just wouldn't be chippy chips.
On another night, I ventured out to southern Manchester. To a little aladins cave of neon and piss soaked streets (imagine a red light district, but replace the brothels with Indian Restaurants) :
Rusholme. The smells of the food are glorious. The scroats and scallies walking around, not so much, so we quickly rushed to my favourite place on the street, Mughli. Basked in the sumptuous interior and without haste, ordered some poppadoms (why is this word spelt differently depending upon where you are) :
and some luscious Fresh Mango Lassi.
Which, rather oddly, came in a brass cup. The mango lassi was good. The popadoms were heavenly, fresh, large and crispy. Not like the weird, super thin, 'spicy' dry puppadom efforts that most places seem to sell here.
Alas, the Chicken Karahi that I ordered, whilst looking delicious, was rather bland and tasteless.
Reminiscent of the curries I've had here. Leaving me wondering whether my taste buds have just died from excessive vodka tasting.
The keema pilau rice, though, was absolutely every bit as good as I remember it being.
So, again, things were good. There were things that I can't get here and they were yummy, but all in all it wasn't as much of a difference as I remember it being. There were downsides to the nobhead filled streets of rusholme aswell as upsides.
Whilst I do miss these things, if I know suddenly moved to Canada I could revel in the delights of Poutine and Timmy HoHo's, but I'd miss Eisbein, Würst and having 20 coffee shops within 5 minutes walking distance. And if I then moved again, I'd miss all things Canadian.
My point being, the past is the past, get over it and move on motherfuckers.
Coming up in Part 2, reflections on the town of Warrington and shopping in the cavernous Trafford Centre.
PS. Seeing this van made me not want to eat Doner Meat, it should be 'produced' not 'manufactured'.
As a few of you may know, I was recently visiting the UK for the first time in 18 months, back to the town where I grew up and lived the vast majority of my life (I have an aversion to referring to it as home now as it no longer is). The reason for this was not the greatest in the world in that my Dad died a couple of weeks back, so I was there for the funeral and to see family and such. As this has never been a blog about such personal things, I'll leave that there.
The Spindly City of Liverpool
Englandish Foods
So, the only upside to this turn of events was that I got to go back to England and do two things. One, to buy all the glorious amazing English food that one cannot buy in Berlin. And Two, to reflect on how good/bad England is and how much better/worse things are when compared to Berlin.
One of the first places I visited is the cathedral like expanse of the giant Tesco 'extra' (no, its fine, just make the font of the e bigger, don't capitalise it, that would be silly)
The 'extra' being how absolutely fooking huge the place is. Now, in my mind, this place is a magical wonderland of absolutely any type of food that you could possibly ever want. All housed in one giant, blindingly white, overly well lit place.
Why so Yellow and Blue?
And, to a certain extent it is. I walked around, marvelling at the huge number of isles. The huge variety of bits n bobs that you can buy. All the while thinking, well, kaisers and rewe back home aren't like this. They're tiny by comparison and have nowhere near the choice. Which is true. But, and its a giant bulbous butt, although there is more selection, its mostly more selection of the same things. So, 40 types of tomato sauce rather than 10, 8 different makes of apple juice rather than 2, giant isles filled with crisps from every manufacturer but mostly of a stock few flavours.
All in all, a bit of a disapointment, rose tinted glasses and all that jazz. But, that is not to say there weren't things that were better. The drugs section is ridiculous when compaired to a pharmacy here. Let me give you a little comparison :
Paracetamol
UK = €0.22
DE = €2.90
Ibuprofen
UK = €0.24
DE = €4.50
How is it that drugs in Germany are allowed to cost so much when they can obviously be produced for much less? Is it price fixing or do the pharmaceutical companies have to jump through 10 or 20 extra hoops and pay extra taxes? Either way, one needs to give ol' Aunty Merkel a little slap round the chops. (plus, this isn't even mentioning the Tesco's own Claritin for €0.80, here €5 upwards).
The gluten free section did have a couple of things that you can't get here (read, naan bread and lovely cake), but there were equally less of a selection of pre-made bread. The drinks section was pretty much the same, except for the fact that you can buy decent Polish vodka in the UK. Even the international foods section wasn't quite as good as I remember it being, apart from a few extra Indian ingredients (which you can get here if you look hard enough), it was about the same.
But, perhaps I am missing the point. All of these things WERE available under one roof. In the UK I could go to one place and get pretty much everything I wanted (even if it was a 15 minute drive away). Here, I have to go to a couple of extra places. But on the flip side, there are no really huge supermarkets nearby and smaller shops thrive, meaning you can get all those little obscure things that a place like Tesco would never stock. Now, sure there are things in the UK that I can't buy here. But, the reverse is true, and the number of these things that I can't get here is far less than it seems like it is.
In the end, I think its a state of mind. Yes, I could be pissed off that I can't get some british wibbles or wobbles here. But thats like getting pissed off because I can't get decent american hash browns here, I don't live in America. I don't live in the UK anymore, of course there are a few things missing, but its a choice whether to pine for what you can't have or embrace what you can have.
Chips and Curry
Saying all that (and somewhat having ranted away with one's self and blown a giant gripe load), there are things outside of the world of Tesco. For instance :
Ahh, something I truly miss, and perhaps its better that I do, Chips and Mushy Peas. If I moved back the UK now, I'd be as wide as tall in the space of a few months (possibly). I know, I could buy a deep fat fryer, potatoes and such here, but, well, it just wouldn't be chippy chips.
On another night, I ventured out to southern Manchester. To a little aladins cave of neon and piss soaked streets (imagine a red light district, but replace the brothels with Indian Restaurants) :
Rusholme. The smells of the food are glorious. The scroats and scallies walking around, not so much, so we quickly rushed to my favourite place on the street, Mughli. Basked in the sumptuous interior and without haste, ordered some poppadoms (why is this word spelt differently depending upon where you are) :
and some luscious Fresh Mango Lassi.
Which, rather oddly, came in a brass cup. The mango lassi was good. The popadoms were heavenly, fresh, large and crispy. Not like the weird, super thin, 'spicy' dry puppadom efforts that most places seem to sell here.
Alas, the Chicken Karahi that I ordered, whilst looking delicious, was rather bland and tasteless.
Reminiscent of the curries I've had here. Leaving me wondering whether my taste buds have just died from excessive vodka tasting.
The keema pilau rice, though, was absolutely every bit as good as I remember it being.
(it didn't look like diseased maggots in real life,
thats just the picture)
So, again, things were good. There were things that I can't get here and they were yummy, but all in all it wasn't as much of a difference as I remember it being. There were downsides to the nobhead filled streets of rusholme aswell as upsides.
Whilst I do miss these things, if I know suddenly moved to Canada I could revel in the delights of Poutine and Timmy HoHo's, but I'd miss Eisbein, Würst and having 20 coffee shops within 5 minutes walking distance. And if I then moved again, I'd miss all things Canadian.
My point being, the past is the past, get over it and move on motherfuckers.
Coming up in Part 2, reflections on the town of Warrington and shopping in the cavernous Trafford Centre.
PS. Seeing this van made me not want to eat Doner Meat, it should be 'produced' not 'manufactured'.
Thursday 3 February 2011
The Order of The Ampelmen
I was out wandering the streets of Berlin the other week, as I am oft to do, when I noticed something. A little startling discovery of the "that so simple, why didn't I realise that before", but with some profound implications (ok, not really).
You see, when you are walking around, you often need to cross a road. These roads have cars on them, driven by mostly oblivious people at high speeds. To solve the dilemma of whether getting to that cafe is worth risking your life for, the forces that be created something called Traffic Lights, to curb these maniacs, and then ultimately ampelmenn to aid in ones crossing.
So, I'll be stood there, marvelling at the crossroads in action, looking across the road at three separate ampelmen. The first of these is for my side of the road, the second for the tram tracks and the third for the opposite side of the road. Now, what I've found is that often, the amplemann on the far side will turn green first. Leaving me stood on the opposite side thinking "WHAT THE FUCK!! Why do those motherfuckers get to start crossing the road before me!!! by the time mine changes and I get over there, that one will be on RED!!!!!". And this has often happened, leading to a little camp jog across the offending lanes.
Now, what I'm about to impart may be one of those things that everyone knows that has somehow bypassed me (there seem to be a few of these). And it is this. That the crossing is designed to cross on the right hand side of the road!!! The green light in the direction of traffic changes first!!! Crossing on the left, is just a silly thing to do and mostly pointless.
Not having noticed this earlier may be due to complete stupidity on my part, or the fact that I come from a country where people do everything on the left first (escalators are a pain in this regard, up is left, down is right!!), or simply that there are far more important things to think about and I've devoted very little mental processing to this.
Either way, 21 months of Germanic living and not noticing this to aid in my road crossing is just ridiculous.
You see, when you are walking around, you often need to cross a road. These roads have cars on them, driven by mostly oblivious people at high speeds. To solve the dilemma of whether getting to that cafe is worth risking your life for, the forces that be created something called Traffic Lights, to curb these maniacs, and then ultimately ampelmenn to aid in ones crossing.
So, I'll be stood there, marvelling at the crossroads in action, looking across the road at three separate ampelmen. The first of these is for my side of the road, the second for the tram tracks and the third for the opposite side of the road. Now, what I've found is that often, the amplemann on the far side will turn green first. Leaving me stood on the opposite side thinking "WHAT THE FUCK!! Why do those motherfuckers get to start crossing the road before me!!! by the time mine changes and I get over there, that one will be on RED!!!!!". And this has often happened, leading to a little camp jog across the offending lanes.
Now, what I'm about to impart may be one of those things that everyone knows that has somehow bypassed me (there seem to be a few of these). And it is this. That the crossing is designed to cross on the right hand side of the road!!! The green light in the direction of traffic changes first!!! Crossing on the left, is just a silly thing to do and mostly pointless.
Not having noticed this earlier may be due to complete stupidity on my part, or the fact that I come from a country where people do everything on the left first (escalators are a pain in this regard, up is left, down is right!!), or simply that there are far more important things to think about and I've devoted very little mental processing to this.
Either way, 21 months of Germanic living and not noticing this to aid in my road crossing is just ridiculous.
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