The Banality of Football

Tonight was the 'big' game between the USA and England in the tepid mundanity known as football.  I had originally wished to completely avoid the offence to one's eyeballs, but, as these things often go, I didn't have much of a choice.  Well, a choice between sitting in alone and being out in public with friends.  So I chose to go to a bar, what with its more numerous options to not watch the game than a friends 'football party' (such an oxymoron with the brain numbing turdness of the so called game).  So, I sat there, watching the vacuous morons, mouths open, aghast at the spectacle that was being displayed to them (a group of equally vacuous morons kicking a small ball around a field), feeling mostly bored and irritated.

When, it struck me that it was a prefect opportunity to perform a scientific experiment.  Would my hatred of the shower of shit being shown lessen in proportion to the amount of vodka I consumed.  A kind of beer-goggles for TV.  Fortunately the bar had some decent Russian vodka and after two rather strong concoctions I was rather tipsy.  So, in my inebriated state, I really tried.  I mean, I put some serious effort into watching the last 10 minutes of the game.  Like, seriously, it was hard work.

The end result, I hear you screaming to know, well, with one's brain numbed on alcohol, I didn't hate it as much.  It wasn't the usual screaming inside the walls of my own skull, trying to escape from it.  But, I also found it as dull as fuck. It was like sat watching a lit firework, waiting for it to pop and explode in exiting glory.  And it just fizzling out and not doing anything of the remotest interest.  I could of been staring at the wall and it would of been as fun.

In conclusion.  Alcohol numbs the experience of football.  But in the same sense that alcohol numbs root canal surgery.  In the end, its still a big ol' wank pie.

Peoples Relationship with the Weather

I've noticed recently (and also not so recently) that people have a tendency to really bitch and moan about the weather.  I thought that this was just a particular trait of English people (or more specifically people in Warrington), but it seems that its a universal, worldwide bitch fest.

I'll run you down what the average person seems to do (from my point of view) :

1. During Winter - "Its Winter!!!! AND ITS COLD!!!! WHAT THE FUCK!!!!", "Its Snowing! Why isn't it sunny?  Why is there frozen water falling out of the sky!!", "This is so shit, when is it going to be summer again!  I'm COLD!"
2. During Spring - "OMG, this is the longest winter ever!!!! Why isn't it summer yet?", "We're not even going to get a summer this year!!  We had a couple of days of warmth last week, thats it!  I'm COLD!!!", "ITS RAINING!!!!!  WTF!!!! What is this, why is it happening!!"
3. During Summer - "Yay, its sunny and warm most of the time", "Why can't i be warm like this all of the time??", "It rained last weekend, I bet theres no clouds in the sky in Spain"
4. During Autumn - "Thats it, the summer is over, its winter now, completely shit until next summer", "Why did all the sun have to end!!!  Why is it COLD AGAIN!!!"

Now, this can all simply be fixed with a simple point of view change.  These facts illustrate my point :

1. We live in the northern hemisphere, we have seasons.  Deal with it or fuck off.
2. Spring is supposed to be a little warm, sometimes cold and mostly rainy with some hot days.  This is the way it is most every year, don't act like its a big surprise/end of the world every time.
3. You can avoid being cold for the 3/4 of the year it isn't summer by WEARING APPROPRIATE CLOTHES and not being a moron.
4. Sunshine and Warmth are nice, but they aren't here all year round, accept this fact and get on with your life.  Acting like it is summer because you want it to be won't help.
5. Embrace the changes between the seasons, they avoid the monotony of never changing weather.

Doing these simple things will improve blood pressure levels no end and will mean that I no longer have to listen to the whines of 99% of the population.

Fortunately though, its summer soon and I can have a little revenge by bitching and moaning about the excessive heat.  Its only for a few months, but blissful none the less :o)

New Guitar

Bought myself a nice new shiny dark red gee-tar.  Yes, it is as awesome as it looks.  Now I just have to remember how to play the thing.