New Yorking Part 4 - Dumb Faces, Jelly Lumps and Breakfast Saviours

Broke in Brooklyn

I'd been in New York for 9 days and had not yet made it off Manhattan.  I gather this is a terrible thing to do and quite touristy.  So I decided to go and visit Dumbo, which is quite possibly the stupidest (best) name for an area of a city ever.  The only thing of note that I did there was find a lovely hipsterish cafe.

hard working types

There was a guy next to me who was having lots of 'very important' business calls via his bluetooth headset.  Every five minutes, without fail, he'd stand up, pace around in front of me, assaulting my ears with lots of waffle about how he needs to get this guy for that thing or whatever simply was not good enough!  I don't think it ever occurred to him that he was disturbing everyone else around him.  Twat.

Also, they seem to be very poor in Dumbo.  They don't have real cups or even plates.

"you're lucky you have a napkin!"

The cake was pretty good though, a little light on the lemon, but you can't have everything in life can you?

I also realised that they're very anti-dog here.  Everywhere is restricted, most cafes and restaurants don't allow dogs.  Only in very designated areas.  If you're lucky.  And you're dog isn't too annoying or big.  And the person enforcing the law takes a liking to you.

both are equally abhorrent

I'm going to presume that this sign is only for dogs with furniture, if your dog is not carrying it's own chaise lounge around with it, you're fine.

I Fucking Love Buildings

On my way back from Dumbo, I took myself on a little walk over the Brooklyn Bridge.  Which was great, even if full of about 60000 tourists.

straight lines and less windows make for a better building

But it wasn't too bad really.  Mostly a pleasant walk, apart from the occasional cyclist who was just SO ANNOYED that people were walking in the cycle path!  I mean, anyone would think it wasn't a major tourist fair that is more for sight seeing, full of people that don't know what a cycle lane is, than obeying strict traffic laws.  Streets yes, major tourist sites, shut up complaining and be patient.

I did manage to get a few nice pictures, but realised that most had other people's dumb faces in them.  This made me realise that my dumb face is probably in thousands of other peoples photos.  What a depressing/fun thought.  I may have to look extra dumb when people are taking pictures around me.

bet this guy is super happy he's in this picture

It was worth it though.  The bridge has some of my favourite views of the city.

happiness is sunshine just hitting some buildings

how happy was I that the sky was so dramatic

Three White Jelly Lumps please

Mostly the gluten free food here has been pretty great here.  A couple of turd missteps, but mostly I've been pretty happy and found it pretty easy to find a place that can accommodate me.  So, when I heard that an old Chinese place had lots of gluten free options, and that it was supposed to be really good, I was stoked.  Plus when I got there, it looks all run down and cool (in a lovely dirty way).

maybe don't leave the trash outside your front door though?

I sat down, perused the menu and picked out 4 or 5 dishes that I wanted to try.  So much choice!  Excitement!  The first one to arrive was this.

what's that weird ugly deep sea fish that looks like this, with the big nose?

Yes, you are correct, they do look like folded sad jelly fish!  They also had the consistency of snot on the outside, with a grey beef interior that had the texture of 3 day old blancmange.  Needless to say I was disappointed.   But, they're were other dishes to come I thought!  It was at this point that the waiters manager came over to explain that although things were marked as gluten free on the menu, most of them were not actually gluten free (they fried them with other gluten-y things).  "but, that's really dumb and annoying!" I exclaimed, but he just shrugged a "well, I don't actually give a shit, so what can you do".  Twat.

So I ate my three lumps and had some rice along with slimy green leaf things.  All in all rather disappointing.

How to do an American Breakfast properly

After the slime fest the night before, and after being disappointed in multiple greasy spoon style cafes.  I made one more valiant attempt to find a place that would serve me a nice fried, mostly beige coloured, breakfast.  Thankfully Blooms Diner did not disappoint.

if I ate this every day, I'd be dead

Just look at it!  Way too much food for one human, check.  Bacon and fried potatoes, check.  Toast because more carbs, check.  Coleslaw, hmm, sure, check.  Pickles, hmm, ok, I'm not sure they'll go, but great, I'll eat em, check.  The coffee was  a bit on the wank side though.

Final New York Thoughts

I'm going to miss this place.  This was by far my longest ever trip here and by the end of it I was just starting to settle in.  Especially as I've tried to treat this trip as if I'm 'living' in New York rather than being just a tourist.  Although saying that, I'm not sure I could actually live here, definitely short term and maybe not in Manhattan, long term I think it would drive me a little crazy in the way London would.  But, still, I've had a pretty fun time.  I'll be keeping something from the trip though, carrying around 1kg to 5kg of New York back with me, distributed around my body in fat wobbly bits.

It does say something that the place I was most comfortable in, was the place that had an air of Berlin to it.

almost Berlin-y, just needs more dirt

this was, surprisingly, a very thin tall bar

dirt